


What the Government Doesn't Want You to Know About Summer Camp

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Cussing, EVERYONE IS FRIENDS OKAY - Freeform, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Memes, No beta we die like illiterates, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Teens being... teens, This is not Rhea Loving Hours, church camp au, mentions of bullying, spoilers for all routes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22234183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Byleth had been looking forward to a nice road trip this summer with her dad. But when plans get changed and she's left at Camp Garreg Mach for the summer, she finds that church camp is a bit... different.__Or, that one AU where we are all Children of Sothis, Kumbayaaaaa~
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Claude von Riegan, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Edelgard von Hresvelg, Edelgard von Hresvelg & Claude von Riegan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	What the Government Doesn't Want You to Know About Summer Camp

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I'm getting the initial chapter out there because my plans for this fic just can't be contained.
> 
> Just a quick heads up, everyone in the fic is a little younger than in canon. You can't send adults to a summer camp after all, but to stick with the narrative they are all roughly in high school. Roughly. You get the idea.
> 
> This is all just for shits and giggles, there will be baby crushes (tags to be updated) but Byleth isn't one of them!
> 
> Anyway, I hope this makes you smile as much as writing it made me. Enjoy!!

Byleth was looking forward to a calm summer, road tripping down the coast with her dad when they get a call from his old buddy, Alois. 

He says that her Grandma is sick.

Then they’re going back to the middle of the country. To the heart of bible-thumping evangelical, nothing but corn for miles, mid-west of Fodlan. They pass a town and her dad’s humor is at least still going because they only have to exchange a look before he’s pulling over for them to take a selfie with the large road sign that says ‘Welcome to Hell’ in a very nice font. 

Their eyes look dead inside and it’s instantly Byleth’s new favorite photo.

Regardless, she’s not happy. Her dad’s not happy either, but neither of them is saying that they’re not unhappy. Grandma Sothis, named after the goddess herself, is one of the few chill family members of Byleth’s mom’s side of the family. Uncle Seteth is also very nice, so is his daughter, Flayn, who’s just slightly older than Byleth but looks a lot younger. But they’ll brave a trip back home for grandma: who taught Byleth how to climb trees, think with her head and fists, and how to fish.

Even if it means dealing with the cult-like worshipers of the Church of Seiros.

An hour later, and so much _fucking_ corn later, they turn off the long highway to a dirt path. It’s a little bumpy, and after about fifteen minutes of this, they finally see it. An archway sign that proudly states: Camp Garreg Mach. There are plenty of buildings scattered across the grounds that surround a large lake. They keep driving until they get to the parking spots in front of the main building.

Her grandmother’s house.

A woman with teal green hair is standing on the balcony of the giant three-story cabin.

Her dad groans as he slows the truck to a stop. Aunt Rhea unnerves him, which means that she also creeps out Byleth a bit too. She still looks like she’s in her forties for someone in their late sixties. Flayn probably has that gene too. 

Her dad has a theory it’s because she secretly uses the church’s money for plastic surgery. He looks at her and she looks back at him.

“For Grandma.”

Dad nods, she nods, and they both stepped out of the truck.

__

They’re having a formal, family dinner in the dining room when her father sighs again.

“So let me see if I have this straight. You want me to leave my daughter here, while the two of us take Sothis to see a specialist in Morfis.”

Aunt Rhea nods, “That is correct. I can imagine that it will be boring for Byleth to sit in a foreign hospital for days on end.”

Seteth clears his throat, “My mother specifically asked for you Jeralt.”

It’s the nail in her father’s coffin, and she gives him a look of pity.

“I will be staying behind to monitor the camp as I am the assistant director.” Seteth continues, “It is not as though Byleth will be alone either, Flayn will be here as well. The girls are free to roam the grounds as they please, sit in on any classes, and will help our staff keep an eye on the younger students.”

Her dad really can’t say no to that either. Really she’s got the better end of the deal by not being around Rhea.

The three adults at the table look to her.

“How about it kid, are you okay with this?”

Byleth knows that she’s signing away her summer, but there are worse things she could be doing. So she nods, “I don’t mind.” Seteth and Rhea smile to her, but she’s not done yet. “Will the students be okay with a lesbian among them?”

Rhea freezes, ever so slightly. 

Jeralt looks at the two of them, “Yeah, she likes girls.”

Seteth nods, “I don’t see why not, we teach the students to care for and accept everyone. That is regardless of gender or race.”

Rhea recovers, “Our religion may be of the old ways but we are accepting of the LGBT community.”

Jeralt raises an eyebrow at her.

“That being said, I do have an idea.” Rhea smiles, “Byleth, how would you like to be in charge of a club here at camp?”

__

“Oh Byleth I’m so happy you’re here!” 

Flayn throws her arms around her in a tight hug that Byleth returns in equal strength. She can feel a small smile on her face.

“My dear cousin, it has simply been far too long.” She steps back, then falls into line with her as they walk. “I was looking forward to your photos of the coast, I miss the ocean so much, but having you as my companion for the summer is a worthy exchange!”

Byleth nods, as Flayn keeps talking. 

“You and I will be sharing a room if that is alright?” Byleth nods again, gaining a relieved smile from Flayn.

“Oh wonderful, I was worried you would be upset that I volunteered you to stay with me. But I can’t recall a time we didn’t get along, so it was a safe assumption.”

Another nod, this time with a slight shoulder bump.

Flayn’s smile becomes brighter, “Would you like a tour? I don’t believe you’ve ever been to Garreg Mach, father and I usually visit you.”

“Lead the way.” Byleth offers her arm to Flayn who eagerly loops them together. 

The sun is beginning to set, dying the lake pink and orange. The campers had gathered in the mess hall to take their dinner, which means the grounds are empty enough for the tour.

“We have a dock and several rowboats that are available to go out onto the lake. The campers aren’t allowed to swim without a lifeguard on duty though. Oh, but there’s plenty of fish in the lake! Ahaha, yes yes we will spend a lot of time out there. The campers have a free period after dinner until 10 PM, which is lights out. The Wi-Fi is also shut off then-- oh don’t give me that look; it’s Rhea’s rules, not my father’s.”

Flayn continues to explain how the campers are students from all over Fodlan, sometimes from abroad too. There are groups separated into ‘cabins’ by geological region to help the campers feel more comfortable with one another, typically consisting of eight campers each, with each group being overseen by a counselor. The cabins have a theme of an animal and a color motif.

“The class cabins are over here past the gardens. There’s a large number of them! There’s the Silver Snow Leopards, The Grey Hounds, The Green Snakes, The Purple Peacocks-- the peacocks are typically not very nice people, don’t ask me why; it happens every year. So let’s do our best to avoid that particular group. Also, there is the Blue Lions, Counselor Hannamen is in charge of them. The Golden Deer is overseen by Counselor Manuela, although I’m not quite sure why they’re called ‘golden’ when really their color is yellow. Oh, the Black Eagles confuse me as well, since their color is red.”

Flayn laughs, “The look on your face! I promise I am not having fun at you cousin, that is truly their color! The fencing instructor Jeritza is stepping in as their counselor this year. He’s not very sociable, but with Auntie Rhea being gone for the summer, my father does not wish to hire anyone new to replace Tomas.”

At Byleth’s blank stare Flayn explains. “Oh, Tomas was the former black eagles’ counselor who retired.” She frowns, “At least we think he did. It was confusing.”

Flayn points away from the shore. “You’ll see in the distance over there are the stables. Most people who attend Garreg Mach tend to be... well, _posh_ is the polite way of putting it. So we have equestrian sports for them to practice.”

Byelth squints towards the stables. She stops walking. 

Flayn is pulled to a stop beside her, “Cousin?”

“The campers are at dinner, right?”

Flayn nods. “Why yes, it’s mandatory unless they don’t want dinner...” She trails off. The shadows near the stables show three people emerge from the building. Another three break off from the forest nearby.

“Well now,” Flayn huffs. “It’s not even your first day and we are already catching rule-breakers.”

__

Byleth isn’t good with words. She is very good at reading body language, and what she sees as Flayn and herself get closer, sends her into a full sprint. The other group from the trees, two girls and a boy, are more aggressive with loud jeers and looking down their noses at the others. The trio who emerged from the building are in tense stances, clearly, bracing for something. But even she can tell from a distance that the way the younger ones hold themselves is with fear.

Flayn yells as one of the girls from the older group takes a step forward.

“That’s far enough Cornelia!” 

The girl, Cornelia, smiles at Flayn. It is an empty one that immediately sets Byleth on edge. She takes a step back from the blonde boy she was approaching while the other girl laughs.

“Well if it isn’t Fishy!”

“My name is Flayn, Monica.”

The girl sneers, “I’m going by Kronya now, actually. Monica doesn’t suit me.”

“I think Hottopic would have been a better name,” mutters the other younger boy. The girl beside him shots him a look that screams ‘shut up’. Byleth notices she has a bruise on her cheek, being hidden by her long brown hair.

The guy behind Cornelia and Monica huffs, “I’m still here too you know.”

“Shut up Kostas,” Monica snaps. She gives a sickly sweet smile towards Flayn that has Byleth stepping in front of her. “Oh, a new kid! Trying to make friends again Fishy? That won’t do, the preacher’s daughter only needs fish after all.”

She takes a step towards Byleth, “You better stay away from her if you know what’s good for you--”

Byleth’s fist connects to her nose with a satisfying _crack_. Monica stumbles back yelling-- ‘you stupid bitch--’ as Kostas charges right for Byleth making an obvious show of his incoming right hook.

“ _Predictable_!”

In the blink of an eye Byleth steps in closer, putting her back to him, grabbing his punching arm. Using his own momentum, she throws him over her shoulder, _slamming_ him into the ground.

Kostas wheezes.

When Byleth looks up the third girl, Cornelia, is gone. Monica has stumbled back, clutching her face as she runs away. Byleth lets her, after glancing down at Kostas, confirming that he isn’t getting back up.

There’s a low impressed whistle that draws her attention. The three younger kids who were getting harassed are staring at her in awe. Each of them is wearing a camp shirt in one of the primary colors

“Dude,” the one in the yellow shirt starts. “You just crit him.”

Byleth shrugs. The boy whistles again.

Then the second one steps forward. “I’d like to apologize for that display, thank you for calling out when you did Flayn. And thank you as well, um...”

“Byleth.”

“Thank you, Byleth, for the physical defense. My name is Dimitri.”

The other one sticks his hand in the air, “I’m Claude by the way.”

The girl sighs, “I am Edelgard. Truly though, thank you both for stepping in when you did. I did not want to have to explain another incident to my father.”

Byleth frowns as Flayn hums.

“I’m beginning to suspect that the three of you were not the ones to blame for the classroom vandalism.”

Edelgard shakes her head, “As we said before, we were not. However, I’m not sure how one of my ribbons ended up in the room.”

“Well,” Claude folds his hands behind his head. “I think they were planted there, to pin the punishment on us. Dimitri here conveniently misplacing his training log? Me suddenly losing my leather bow sheath? That’s not like us. None of us even use the damn Peacocks classroom, so they trashed it themselves to hide from the blame. Who would vandalize their own room, right?”

Flayn rubs her arms as the sun continues to set. “I’m sorry the three of you got stuck on stables duty.”

Dimitri shakes his head, “You were not the one who delivered the verdict, there is nothing to apologize for Flayn. It looked as though we were the vandals, we do not fault you for your father carrying out the punishment.”

Flayn looks like she would like to contest that when she pauses. “Edelgard, you look like you have a bruise on your cheek. Did we not get here fast enough?”

The girl holds her head up a little higher. “Claude wasn’t the only one to suspect the Peacocks. I went to confront them about it earlier.”

Claude’s jaw drops, “Did you get punched for it?”

She smiles, then winces when it irritates her bruise. “That’s correct.”

Dimitri looks downright horrified, “El...”

Kostas groans from the ground.

Byleth and Flayn exchange a look before Flayn clears her throat.

“I think it’s a little late for you three to catch dinner, but I have some snacks in my room-- well, our room, if you would like. It’s not the healthiest, but it should hold you down for the night.”

Byleth nods, “I brought Oreos.”

Which is how the five of them find themselves seated on the floor of Byleth’s new living space. There are two bunk beds situated on either side of the room, the lower bunks having been replaced with a flat tabletop and a chair. She supposes it’s supposed to pass for desk space, likely for campers to complete overnight assignments. A very fluffy grey carpet decorates the middle ground of the room which is where they are all seated. 

Flayn’s side of the room is decorated with small succulents and a tasteful color scheme of mint greens, blush pink accents, as well as some black photo frames and white shelving. Byleth spies some photos hung up on her last trip to the sea that she had sent Flayn.

Her bags are on the desk under the unoccupied bunk, as well as a desk lamp with a note from Seteth saying not to hesitate to ask for any other fixtures that would make the room more ‘homey’.

She’s contemplating on if she can get away with asking for a Keurig when there’s a chorus of laughter behind her.

Dimitri sighs but smiles as the others seated around him on the floor continue to laugh. 

“Sylvian still won’t let it go.”

Claude wipes a tear from his eye, “Okay, but dude that’s so cute.”

Byleth sees a faint blush on Dimitri before she takes off her sweatshirt and sits down in the group beside him. Dimitri clears his throat. “So Byleth, how did you end up a late entry to the camp?”

“Celebratory road trip got canceled. So I’m here to spend time with Flayn.”

Dimitri nods, “I see. Are you two old friends?”

Byleth takes a swig from her water bottle as Flayn shifts a bit. “We are, but Byleth and I are also cousins.” Flayn sighs again, a bit wistfully. “I was looking forward to your ocean photos.”

Byleth smiles, “I have all summer to convince Seteth to let you come with us.”

Flayn leans back a bit, “Oh that would be lovely.”

“If you don’t me asking,” Claude starts. “What were you celebrating? Did you graduate high school already?”

“College.”

Edelgard balks at her as Claude stares. “But surely you are not much older than us!”

Byleth shrugs, “Accelerated homeschooling. I started with classes in junior college a few years back. Now I have my degree in history.”

Edelgard blinks, “History?”

There’s a nod as Flayn speaks for her, “My cousin has always enjoyed tales of old days. There is always something to learn from the past.”

Byleth nods, “History repeats itself. Unless you learn from it.”

Edelgard learns forward, “Are you considering getting a master’s degree?”

“Ph.D.”

Dimitri laughs, “Perhaps we should call you ‘professor’ then. Everyone needs a camp nickname after all.”

Byleth shrugs again as there is a knock at the door before it opens.

“Flayn, I did not see you or Byleth at the mess hall...” Seteth trails off, staring at the five of them sitting around the carpet with bags of chips, a package of Oreos, some jerky, and their water bottles scattered around them.

It’s silent save for the ticking of the clock on the wall.

“H-hello father, um, these three missed dinner so we were, um, h-hanging out...”

Seteth continues to stare. None of the other three dares to move.

Byleth stands up, “Three campers from the purple peacocks were bullying the cabin leaders.”

Seteth looks to her as she continues. “Flayn and I intervened. One of them started calling Flayn names.”

Byleth pauses, “I punched her.”

Flayn puts her head in her hands.

Seteth stares long and hard at Byleth. Then he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Ms. Von Hresvelg, Mr. Blaiddyd, and Mr. Von Riegan...”

Seteth sighs, “The three of you are excused from your assigned chores.” The three campers stare at him.

Seteth looks back at them, “I don’t think those looks of shock are warranted. Clearly, some information was withheld in between your spotless behavior and this sudden vandalism. I did suspect some foul play if I’m being perfectly honest.” He sighs, “However, the three of you do need to trust those of us with authority with all the information. We cannot make the correct calls if we are not told the full story. Understand?”

Three heads nod.

“Good. Byleth?”

“Yes?”

“There were no reports of injured campers.”

Byleth feels a small smile creep onto her face. “That’s good to hear.”

Seteth nods, “I hope you continue to keep an eye out for any inappropriate behavior. Have a goodnight everyone.” He’s through the entryway of the door when Seteth pauses with an ‘ah’.

“It’s a bit late but, welcome to Camp Garreg Mach Ms. Eisner. We look forward to having you.”

Seteth leaves the door open as he goes, but the silence doesn’t break until Byleth sits back down and goes for the bbq chips.

“Well,” Edelgard starts. “That was unexpected.”

Claude leans back on his arms, “Your dad is awesome Flayn. Like, I knew he was fair, but dang it feels nice to have an adult actually respect you.” He looks to Byleth, “So Teach, are you usually able to get away with murder?”

Flayn grumbles out a ‘yes’ from behind her hands.

Edelgard laughs, “I would hate to make an enemy of you.”

Dimitri resumes eating cheese crackers as Claude fully flops down onto the carpet.

“Flaaaaayn, your rug is so nice, I don’t want to get up.” It gets a giggle from Flayn as she begins to relax. 

Edelgard also smiles, “No one tell Lindhart that. It’s hard enough to get him to attend classes.” 

Claude waves his hand again. “Here here!”

“Claude, please.”

“Join me, Dimitri the carpet is comfy.”

“Well...”

Edelgard lays down next to Claude, “Oh I see.”

“El...”

“But Dimitri, it is so nice.”

“Come on dude, Dimitri, Dima, El’s brother from another mother--”

Edelgard giggles as Dimitri sighs. “Okay, okay, cease. I will join you on the floor.”

Dimitri lays down.

“ _Oh_.”

“You see?” Claude laughs. “Flayn, come join us! It is your carpet.”

Edelgard wiggles over a bit as Flayn, with a big smile on her face, lays down beside her.

“Oh, I should put something on the ceiling! Make it a bit more pleasant to look at.”

Dimitri hums, “Perhaps stars?”

“You don’t think that’s perhaps too young?”

“No, I mean perhaps one of those lights that projects stars.”

Byleth lays down at their feet, “bring the night sky in.”

She can hear Edelgard’s smile, “that is a nice thought.”

“Teach, you’re so full of wisdom.”

“Well, the professor did go to college.”

Flayn snorts, setting off a chain reaction. As they all lay there laughing, Byleth can’t help but think that perhaps the summer won’t be so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Up next, Blyeth gets made head of the new LGBT Club at camp. Also, Fight Club.


End file.
